You'll Turn Your Back, Like Everybody Else
by allisonnw
Summary: Jenny's leaving the Upper East Side, hoping to leave all she has done behind, but things are not that easy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's basically the finale, but only some moments, and it mostly focuses on Jenny. Enjoy!**

"Blair, what are you doing here?" Chuck asked, broken hearted. She left him standing there, alone; all he wanted was her back. "What are you doing? Is there someone in there?"Blair questioned. "No," he quickly lied, "nobody." Jenny was buried under a blanket, in Chuck's bedroom. She rose from the bed and swung her legs over the side, she was all alone. She did however; hear voices from the other room. She turned her eyes toward the nightstand, there was a small bag, and curiously she picked it up and looked inside. Her eyes winded as she saw a small box, and what she assumed to be a ring inside. A wedding ring, in Chuck Bass' apartment, did he slip something in her drink? Chuck, even as desperate as he was to get Blair back, did not seem like the marring type. She looked towards the wall in front of her; she could see right through it, and what she thought she saw, were Chuck and Blair hugging. Last she heard, Blair hated Chuck, but she guessed that changed. As much as she despised Blair at that moment, she couldn't find it in herself to expose that she slept with Chuck. She didn't even want to admit it so herself. Her first time, something she wanted to be special, something she wanted to remember for the rest of her life, turned into something she couldn't wait to forget. She wanted to forget the desperation in each touch, the wanting to feel anything close to love, lust. She wanted to take it all back, back to the times of Brooklyn, simple times. Where her family was connected, happy. Now all she wanted to do was run far away from the Upper East Side, far far away. She needed to leave. And that's what she did, she ran, away.

Somehow she found herself at the hospital, waiting for Dorota to have her baby. As silly as it sounded she envied that child. The moment it was born, it would be innocent, guilty of nothing wrong. Far from what Jenny had been now. She felt as if everything was her fault. She was alone, sitting on a bench in the hospital, tears pouring down her face, make up streaming. She heard footsteps heading toward her, "Hey," Eric greated, trying to be as nice as he could. She didn't want his pity, "Go away." She warned. "No," He wasn't leaving, "we may get mad at each other, but if you're really hurting, I'm here for you." He offered. She doubted it, "You say that now, but I'll do something to let you down. And you'll turn your back like everybody else, my dad, Dan, Nate, Serena, Blair, everybody hates me, even Chuck." His named still burned her mouth, somehow, she blamed him. She didn't know if it was right, actually, she knew it wasn't, she just couldn't blame herself anymore. Eric was confused, his step brother and Jenny didn't even seem to make contact, to him. "Chuck? What did you do to Chuck?" He asked, taking a seat next to her, "It was such a mistake," She said, reliving every moment, every touch, she hated herself for it. "Mistake? Chuck?" Eric was clueless. She nodded, Eric suddenly understood every word, he stared down at his hands, and back up at her. "Jenny, why would you do that?" He asked, although she her it sounded like blame. Why did she? She was lonely, unloved, stupid, she didn't even know. She tried to explain it as best she could "I was sad, he as sad, I-I don't know." "That's not the worst thing," He reasoned, somehow trying to help her, "It's no worse than that time with Damien." "I didn't do it with Damien!" She interrupted him, his name make her sick. "I wanted you to think I did, I wanted to wait. I wanted it to be special, and.." Eric, felted bad for her, he offered to hold her hand. As he moved toward her she snapped on him "Don't touch me!" She shouted. She didn't need his pity, she needed his silence. "Don't tell anyone." She told him, staring into his eyes, remembering when he was the dark soul, who tried to end his life, now the tables had almost completely turned. Eric just got up and walked away, like everyone did.

Eric didn't keep his silence. Dan came running towards her. "What happened?" He screamed. Her face still full of tears. She told him, she couldn't keep it in any longer. When she was finished he had a crazy look in his eyes, he got up and ran towards the exist. She tried to follow as fast as she could, "Dan, stop!" She screamed. Dan ran through the exist doors, Chuck was standing there, with Blair. He had this look in his eyes, he was nervous. Dan approached him, punching him strait in the face. "Humphrey!" Blair shouted as Chuck hit the ground. "Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing?" Blair stared at Dan in complete confusion. Dan was sick of Chuck's charade. "You," he pointed at Chuck, "tell her!" Chuck lifted himself off the ground. Blair was confused. "Tell me what? What's going on?" Her eyes drifted towards Chuck, then to Jenny, she shook her head, in disbelief. "You didn't?" She questioned, Chuck. "Blair,"Chuck began. "You did." She couldn't believe it. Her eyes went to Jenny, "You, get out of here, now. " Jenny began to walk away, she wanted to run. "And not just out of this hospital," Blair continued, "but off this island. Go, and never come back. Because, if you ever set foot in Manhattan again, I will know, and I will destroy you." Jenny felt bad, more than bad. She wanted to give it all back, everything, just to have her family, her real family. "I'm sorry," was all she could get out. Dan interrupted her, "You have no reason to be sorry, this begins and ends with Chuck" As he finished, Rufus and Lily came by, at absolutely the worst time. "Who's hungry?" He chimed bags in his hands. "I got enough bagels to feed an-"He suddenly felt the tension, as he saw the tears in Blair's eyes. "What did I just walk into?" He asked. "Dad, " Jenny said, tears in her eyes as well. She quickly dug her head deep into his shoulder, trying to imagine herself younger, more innocent, she could almost believe it. Rufus, Lily and Jenny all walked away, as Serena quickly came. Jenny couldn't handle it, it wasn't worth it. The manipulative, sneaky, devising world of the Upper East Side wasn't for her, soon she'd be in Hudson. A clean slate, she just wished she wouldn't screw that over, too.

**Review please, thank you. **


	2. Simple

**A/N: I decided to make this a multi-chapter, but I'm terrible at them, so you're warned. **

As soon as she arrived in Hudson, things seemed different. Her mother, who she had drifted apart from over her and her fathers divorce, seemed to welcome her back. She helped her bring her bags to the car; the ride back to her mother's house was a little longer than Jenny had expected. They talked a little, but it was mostly quiet. She rethought her experience leaving at Grand Central Station. It was the first time she truly felt loved in a while. All the hugging, which used to be mandatory in the Humphrey household, seemed somewhat new to her. All the kind words they shared with her seemed like a foreign language. "You are my daughter, Jenny. And I love you forever and always come whatever." Her father told her, she finally believed him. He cared about her. The surprise appearance of Eric just made her even happier. His bittersweet plea for her to stay, "Please don't go. You may be a total bitch sometimes but you're still my best friend." She loved him; he was her best friend also. Even though she was a total asshole to him at times, which she regretted so much, he still was here. That meant so much to her, more than anything else had that day. That day, she felt like she had a family. Not just a family, a supportive, happy, group of people, who loved her. Jenny got all she wished for, love.

She arrived at her mother's house, it wasn't exactly a penthouse suit, but it was nice. Simple. All she needed was simple. Her mother carried her bags through the door of a small room. _Small and simple_, Jenny thought. "I hope this is alright," her mother offered, "I know it's a little less then you're used to, now." Jenny felt sorry for her mother. Rufus was with Lily now and her mother was alone, with art. "It's great, mom." She said, smile on her face. She wanted to feel happy here, negativity was a thing of the past, of the Upper East Side. Alison smiled, having Jenny back made her happy, too. She hated how much they drifted apart over the divorce; she wanted to be a mother to her. Jenny needed a mother, her own mother. When Rufus had suggested to Alison that Jenny should come live with her for a while, she was more than happy to welcome her. She missed her, and hoped Hudson would be a good place for her. She didn't want her to turn out like Lily. Alison hated Lily; she kept old grudges she had against her. "You want some dinner?" Alison offered. Jenny was extremely tired, she yawned. "Actually, mom, I'm really tired." She said, as she saw the smile on her face turn into a frown. "Waffles in the morning?" Jenny offered, trying to make her happy. Alison smiled, "Of course." Jenny reached for her, and hugged her. "I love you, mom." She told her, and she meant it. Alison felt surprised, she didn't remember Jenny being this open, and Rufus had told her she was having problems. "I love you too, Jenny." Jenny had a mother, a mother who cared. She hoped she wouldn't screw this over, too.

**TBC. **

**Please, if you read, review. I know it takes time, but I really appreciate it. **

**:D**


	3. The Mall

"You should go out, Jenny, buy some stuff for the summer." Alison suggested, after breakfast the next morning. "No, I'm fine I have everything I need." Jenny told her, she didn't want to go out. She wanted to stay inside, for as long as she could. The outside scared her, the people, ready to judge her at any moment, scared her. She never thought about 'the outside' until Alison had to bring it up, she planned to Skype Eric, and well, she didn't know what else she planned to do. "Come on, Jenny. Go to the mall, make some friends. _Friends_, Jenny thought, _she didn't need friends here. _Friends just turned into enemies. "I have friends." Jenny said, trying to convince her mother, or rather herself. "Like who?" Alison questioned. Jenny thought, "Eric." All Jenny needed was Eric, even if he was all the way in the Upper East Side. "Eric isn't here, Jenny." Her mother said, for some reason that hurt Jenny. She really had no one here. "Fine," she decided, "I'll go to the mall." She had pain in her voice. Alison didn't want to force her, but she wanted her to be social, happy, if she was alone who knew what would happen. Jenny decided she wasn't going to sit, sulk and miss Eric for the whole summer. Plus, she hadn't been to the mall in ages.

Jenny never considered herself selfish or spoiled, but the mall was disgusting to her. The people running around, looking for sales on cheap, worthless items, made her sick. And the constant staring from the people around her annoyed the hell out of her. Yes, she wore a lot of makeup and didn't exactly dress her age, she was an individual. She never wanted to be normal, but sometimes she wished she would blend in more. She had been there for almost an hour, bought a cheap bracelet, and now all she wanted to do was leave. She got up from the bench she was sitting on and began to walk towards the exit. She reached in her pocket to call Alison, telling her she was on her way home. As she looked down at the small screen she bumped into someone. "Sorry." Jenny said, still looking down at the phone. The petite brunette scoffed, "You should be." Jenny stopped, she looked at her. She seemed to emulate Blair; it scared her how much they looked alike. She didn't need another Blair in her life. Jenny didn't want to start a fight, she just wanted to leave. She began to walk away, "Stop," she said to Jenny, "are you, Jenny Humphrey?" She said her name like it was a curse word, a sin. Jenny was confused, "How do you know my name?" The brunette stepped forward, almost like she was inspecting Jenny. "Wow, it really is you. Gossip Girl did mention how bad your extensions are looking these days." She laughed, and so did the two girls behind her, a red head and a blonde. _Minions_, Jenny thought, _just what I need. _The blonde stared at Jenny, with superiority; the red head stared with wonder. She looked so familiar to Jenny, but she couldn't put a face to her name. Jenny sighed; she didn't want to cause problems, already, "Look, I really don't want to deal with you right now, could you please leave me alone." She said calmly. The brunette rolled her eyes, "Look," she began mocking Jenny, "I don't need you corrupted my town." She said, smirk on her face. "I'm queen here, so get out of the mall; you can find somewhere else to set up your drug dealing business." Jenny giggled a little. This girl was not at all threatening. "Of course, your majesty. I'm so sorry to have bothered you." She said, sarcastically, as she walked away. Jenny thought Hudson would be a clean slate, a new beginning, looks like she was wrong. There were mean girls everywhere she turned.

**TBC. **

**Please, if you read, review. **

**I know it takes time, but I appreciate it a lot.**


	4. Skype

"I swear she was just like Blair!" Jenny shouted at her computer screen, Eric on the other line. She had been on Skype with him since she got home from her less than enjoyable trip to the mall. Eric laughed, "Come on, Jenny. I bet she wasn't that bad." Jenny scoffed, "She was, believed me." Eric laughed. "If you find an 'Eric' you have to send me a picture." He thought Jenny was being a little over dramatic. It was just a mean girl, he felt bad for her, but at least she was getting a taste of her own medicine. Jenny pouted, "Come on, E, this is serious. The first day I go out and there are already problems." She complained. Eric couldn't but giggle. "Since when is Jenny Humphrey afraid of upper middle class, suburb wanna be's?" Jenny frowned, "Since I became one of them." Eric still laughed, "You know if that whole fashion thing doesn't work out, you could be an actress. You've already got the over dramatic part down." He suggested, smirk on his face. "Screw you." Jenny said, playfully. "So what's your plan now? Stay in the house all summer?" "Well, some of us can't be in the Hamptons all summer." She responded. "No, they can't." He said, with slight arrogance. "Seriously, Eric, Screw you." She tried her best to keep a straight face, but she burst out laughing. "I don't think an acting career would be too successful, E." "Me either." Eric agreed.

They talked about little things for a while, how Eric was doing in the Hamptons, if he had talked to Elliot. Somehow, things got to Blair. "Do you know how Blair's doing?" Jenny asked, somehow nervous. For some reason, she felt guilt for sleeping with Chuck. Like she somehow betrayed Blair. It's not like her and Blair were best friends, not even friends at best, but for some twisted reason, Blair loved Chuck. Saying his name made Jenny's throat burn, she wondered when that would stop. Jenny had a dream the night before, well more like a nightmare. She relived every moment of that lonely night, she even woke up screaming. Alison rushed in after she heard, "What's wrong? What happen?" She questioned. Jenny pulled herself up, shaking her head, "Nothing." She whispered breathlessly. "Just a bad dream." She wished she could have woken up that night, put it all behind as a bad dream. But it wasn't, what she did was reality, and she had to live with it her whole life. Jenny had slept with someone Blair loved, and she felt sorry for her. _He probably doesn't feel sorry_, Jenny thought. In her mind, Chuck Bass was the devil, he has no remorse. At least she felt bad; it seemed as if Chuck didn't care about Blair. He was still going to propose to her, knowing what he had done. Even if he hadn't betrayed her, he still lied to her. Eric's voice snapped her back into reality, "Serena and her went to Paris for the summer." Eric said, looking into Jenny's eyes. He could see the looks on her face, guilt, shame. In his mind, Jenny had nothing to be guilty for, Chuck wasn't in a relationship. She wasn't a bad person for having sex with him, maybe she didn't make good decisions, but Jenny was not a bad person. "Jenny," He started, "you have no reason to feel guilty." Jenny laughed; she couldn't believe what he just said, "Eric, I have all the reason in the world to feel guilty." He rolled his eyes, she was so stubborn. "I told Serena that you feel terrible about it. But she didn't believe me. She just wants to take Blair's side." "Why would she believe you? She has every right to think of me that way." Jenny remembered how she used to idolize her, Serena was everything she ever wanted to be. But she screwed that up; she ended up ruining her and Nate's relationship, and his and Jenny's. She couldn't believe she had done that to Nate. Nate, the only person who had accepted her, been with her, stayed with her. She had been a total bitch to him, conniving to ruin his relationship, twice. She wanted the best for Nate, and if that meant staying the hell out of his life, then so be it. Eric saw how sad she was, he wanted to help her, he really did, he just didn't know how. Jenny suddenly didn't feel like talking anymore, "Look, E, I gotta go. Text you later." Jenny said, forcing a smile. Eric new it was fake, he didn't want to press her. "Oh, okay bye Jenn-" He said, interrupted by Jenny slamming her laptop shut. Every memory, every scheme, the constant flood of each into her head, making her remember it all. She hated herself, she hated what she had done. She wished she could go back in time, but this was reality, what she had done had happened, she could never forget.

**TBC. **

**Please if you read review, I would really really appreciate it. **

** Thank you. **


	5. Pretend

**A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated in a while. I have finals till the end of June. I've been taking so many extra classes, so that means extra finals. Yay! ): Well, anyway, someone asked me to space out the writing, so here you go. Do you like this format better?**

"Jenny!" Her mother called from the other room.

She didn't answer. "Jenny!" She called once again, knocking loudly on the door to her room. Jenny had been under the covers of her warm blankets all day; she didn't want to get up. Up meant thinking, doing, she didn't want to do, she wanted to sleep.

Jenny was wearing Dan's old baseball T-shirt. No, he wasn't actually on a team; it was from a Yankee's game he had gone to when he was eight. The shirt still smelled like him, like Brooklyn. The Brooklyn she missed, the simplicity, familiarity of the city. She got up from the bed, hearing the loud knocks.

She opened her door, seeing her mother standing there. Alison was dressed up, a dress that made her look way younger, her hair curled to perfection and just the right amount of makeup. She looked amazing.

"You're still not dressed?" Alison frowned.

"It's almost five, Jenny, in the evening."

Jenny didn't want to discuss anything with her mother, how she didn't feel like waking up. How she was afraid of the outside, afraid of the people. It was pathetic. Jenny hated admitting she was scared, but she was, she was terrified.

"Yeah, sorry." She apologized, staring down at the floor. "I just don't feel well today." _I don't feel like myself, and I never will again._ She wasn't lying about being sick. I mean she wasn't physically sick, but the ache of guilt in her stomach contributed to her body like an ailment.

Alison stuck her hand out to Jenny's forehead, like a makeshift thermometer.

"Well," She began taking her hand off her head, "you don't feel warm."

"It's more of a stomach thing." Jenny insisted. She was sick to her stomach; just the memory killed her inside. Alison showed a look of disappointment on her face.

Jenny didn't know why she was upset. Alison started to walk away.

"Um, mom," Jenny called stopping her, "you look amazing." She tried to make her happy. She really did though, more than amazing.

Alison smiled. "Where are you going?" Jenny asked. Alison walked back to her, her heels clicked across the hallway.

"Oh, I was just going to head to a friend's house for dinner. I wish you felt better, he would love to meet you."

_He_, Jenny thought, _he_. Her mom had a boyfriend? Like she was dating someone? Jenny was confused.

Why was this surprising her, she accepted when her father chose to move on. She needed to support her mother, she was all she had here in Hudson.

"Oh." She said quietly, "Sorry mom." She added. Alison tried to hide how upset she was. She really wanted Jenny to meet him tonight. Jenny could tell from the look on her face, she was upset. This made Jenny feel guiltier.

She didn't want to disappoint her mother, like everyone else in her life.

"Wait, mom."

Allison turned around. "Yes?"

"Um, I'm starting to feel better," she lied, she would never feel better, never _be_ better,"if you give me a little to get ready, I'd love to meet him." She said, smiling.

Who cares if she wasn't happy, her mom didn't deserve not to be. Alison suddenly looked very excited.

"You sure?" She asked.

"Yes mom. I'm sure." Jenny insisted, smiling.

"Okay, be ready at six, we have to leave right then."

Jenny walked back to her room to try to find something to wear. Even if she wasn't happy, she could at least pretend to be, for her mother.

**TBC. **

**Please, review if you read. I appreciate it. **


	6. Be Herself

**A/N: Exams end soon, then it's summer for me. Yay! I'll be updating probably more then, but I may be gone for a while, you know vacations and things. Well, hope you like this chapter. **

Jenny skimmed through her closet looking for something to wear. She decided she had to wear a dress; her mother was dressed up, so she figured it was a bit formal. She had been skimming through the same things for the last five minutes. She couldn't find anything in here.

She sighed, all she had was her leather, short skirts, fishnets, which she didn't think was appropriate to wear to her mother's boyfriends house. Normally, she wouldn't have gave a damn, but this was a new start a first impression, she had to make it a good one. She remembered her father had sent boxes down of clothes she couldn't fit into her suitcase. Jenny ran to them, trying to be as quick as possible. She opened up the bag. More black, more leather, until she reached the bottom.

Jenny saw something, something she hadn't looked at since she moved into Lily's. She picked it up from the box. It was _the dress_. The one she had worn that night Nate had kissed _her _for the first time. Not some Serena look alike, but Jenny Humphrey. The night everything changed for her. Sure, she always had a crush on Nate, but she thought it would never be returned to her, she was proved wrong.

She got taken back into the memory.

* * *

"You are not my father, and you are not my brother, so why do you care so much?" Jenny asked him, furious.

"Because," Nate began, and then Jenny did the most daring thing she could. She kissed him. As soon as she realized what she was doing she pulled back, staring into his eyes. Unaware of what his reaction would be. She felt embarrassed when he let out a breath, she wanted to run away. She began to turn around when he pulled her arm back to him. He took hold of her check, drawing her in, and kissed her.

Like he had never kissed Blair, Vanessa, or even Serena. He kissed her with such passion, with all that led up to this, their friendship which builds up to the moment. The way his hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer with each second. She was no longer 'Little J' casted in the shadows of Blair Waldorf, she was Jenny Humphrey.

* * *

Her mother's knocking on the door snapped her back.

"We have to leave now, Jenny!" Alison called over to her daughter.

She wanted to stay in the memory, forever. She wanted to remain in Nate's arms, forever. She wanted to be that girl, the girl Nate cared about. She would give everything up just to be that girl.

She grabbed the dress from the box and hurried into it. She didn't even have time to apply her makeup. She ran into her bathroom quick to check herself out before she left.

She looked innocent, without the dark circles around her eyes. She looked bare, exposed. She felt odd, like the makeup was some sort of a safety blanket. Without it she felt exposed to the world. With it, she felt hidden, covered. She needed to deal with this, the new Jenny Humphrey will be exposed, bare showing to the world who she really is. Jenny reached for the eye liner next to the sink; she lifted it up in her hand, staring at the dark pencil. Staring at she realized she didn't need it. She didn't need to be covered, she needed to be her. _Be herself_. She then proceeded to throw it away. The new Jenny Humphrey stared back at her threw the mirror, the old Jenny, the conniving Upper East Side bitch, could hardly recognize her. This is what she had to be, herself._ Be herself._

"Coming, Mom" She yelled, running out of the bathroom, grabbing shoes on the way.

This was a new start. A new her. It was time.

**Please, if you read review.**

**Thanks a lot. **


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